I Have A P-38 Hoodie
Most people will have no idea what this means, but those who do will absolutely love it. And you know what's even better than the people who love it? The ignorant people who will hate it! No doubt some gun control nuts will be disgusted that you're advertising that you own some sort of weapon of mass destruction. After all, how many people realize we're talking about a can opener?
As a little bonus, we even made the hyphen in "P-38" the silhouette of the can opener itself!