Alligator Alcatraz Everglades, FL T-Shirt
Alligator Alcatraz Everglades, FL T-Shirt
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Description
Description
Welcome to Alligator Alcatraz — Everglades, FL’s most exclusive (and highly guarded) swamp-side facility for those who thought sneaking across the border would be a breeze. Spoiler alert: it’s not. Down here, we don’t just protect the border — we build a moat, and it comes with teeth.
This bold and funny tee imagines a Florida-style holding tank where the gators work overtime, and trespassers quickly learn that crossing the line has consequences. It’s tough love, Everglades-style — with razor-sharp sarcasm and a bite of American pride.
Product Features:
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Shoulder tape for added stability — built tough like our borders should be
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Seamless design — no weak points, just like our immigration stance
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Ribbed knit collar that keeps its shape — even under political pressure
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Durable, eco-friendly fabric — made to outlast open-border nonsense
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Tear-away label — because your shirt should be secure and comfortable
Care Instructions:
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Machine wash cold — swamp water not recommended
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Tumble dry low — no need to sweat like a coyote in custody
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Do not iron — let the message stay rough around the edges
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Do not dryclean — this shirt is for the people, not the elite
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Non-chlorine bleach only — save the harsh stuff for policy reform
Make your stance known with the Alligator Alcatraz T-Shirt — where border security meets Florida grit, and the only thing crossing uninvited are gators on patrol.
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length (from center back), in | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 | 23.70 | 25.00 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
Have questions? We’ve got answers.
How long does shipping take?
How long does shipping take?
In-stock orders usually ship within 7–10 business days. Delivery time depends on the method chosen, but most packages arrive within 5–10 business days after processing.
Do you ship outside the U.S.?
Do you ship outside the U.S.?
Yes, we ship to all 50 states (including Alaska and Hawaii) as well as Canada. Please make sure your shipping address is accurate and deliverable by USPS or FedEx.
Can I exchange for a different size or item?
Can I exchange for a different size or item?
Yes, you can exchange within 30 days as long as items are in new, sellable condition. Just include $5 made payable to Patriot Depot to cover part of the reshipping cost.
What if my order arrives damaged or incomplete?
What if my order arrives damaged or incomplete?
If your order arrives damaged, incorrect, or missing items, please email Customer Care. We’ll review the issue and arrange the best solution, whether that’s a replacement or other fix.
What is your return policy?
What is your return policy?
You can return items in sellable condition within 30 days of purchase. Refunds are issued minus a 10% restocking fee. Please ship returns with tracking so they don’t get lost in transit.